Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist RayeFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 12 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 476 Deviations 9,534 Comments 51,954 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

Manic Grin by GrimReapette Manic Grin :icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 4 9
Literature
Morning
It was deceiving how peaceful he looked when he slept.  Eyes shut, hair in a silver halo around his head, or perhaps pooled around his shoulders, mouth in a gentle line making an expression that was somewhere between a smile and a frown, Zephyr looked positively sweet asleep.  If any of his men ever saw it they would lose so much respect for him—or so Zephyr liked to say.  Noreat didn’t think that soldiers were that finicky.  Everyone had to sleep didn’t they?  Why would seeing their General asleep change their opinion of him?  Now if he didn’t have to sleep that might terrify them, but he did, and that was perfectly normal, so it followed that it shouldn’t affect anything between Zephyr and his men.  But Zephyr thought it did.  Zephyr had a lot of thoughts that Noreat didn’t agree with.
Though, the nice thing about sleeping Zephyr was that he couldn’t disagree with Noreat.  All he could do was lay there, looking beautiful, half covered
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 12 32
Literature
One Day
Sparing moments. That was what they had. Both knew that these moments, flashes, vignettes in their lives would last so little time. They were only permitted so much time.
So they made the most of it. The rare muscle spasm of smiles graced their lips. Glints of color and emotion flitted across their eyes. For once the two relished the sensation of touch. Usually touch equaled pain, but when Peter and Simone held hands it felt wonderful.
Like two worlds colliding softly and in their wake leaving a tiny, innocent pool of gentle ripples. Their skin tingled, in a good way, which was so rare between them.
Love. And emotion neither thought they would have the chance to feel. A commitment neither thought they would ever have the honor of making. Gifts of smiles of smiles and sighs, stray touches and even more stray kisses. The feeling of fingers combing through hair and smiles through on skin.
They both preferred the smell of each other to the smell of sterile needles and antiseptic. Th
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 4 4
Literature
Shit Excuses
So what do you have to say for yourself this time?
“E-ego,” he whispered.
The reflection didn’t agree.  A face full of hard lines, angles, and winkles glared back.  His knuckles turned white as he held onto the sink.  How he so wanted to slam his hands into the mirror, to crush that reflection and all the questions.  They had no right to ask!
“I’m sorry,” He attempted.
Sorry doesn’t mean a damn thing.
No it didn’t but at least he was trying?  He was doing his best!  He left, he was helping Cotton, he was helping Simone!
A lifetime of wrongs can’t be reversed by a few good deeds.
“I know.”
You’ve done more than just destroy Simone and Cotton’s life.
“I know.”
Do you really think they’ll ever forgive you?  His reflection demanded.
Lester bit his lip, his vision starting to blur from salty tears.  No.  No he knew th
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 4 13
Literature
Curiosity
“Look at this!”  Mercutio squealed as he darted away from Cian.
Cian threw his head back and suppressed the need to shout.  The two had been taking a leisurely walk through the cosmos up until now.  Cian had grown bored hopping from planet to planet and he managed to convince his lover to just stroll through space.  Of course it couldn’t last long.  Not much of any one activity (save a few) managed to entertain Mercutio indefinitely.
Turning around Cian found a new reason to sigh and shake his head.  Mercutio was floating about a large satellite.  The silver and white constructed was oddly shaped, almost like a cone with a series of antennas poking out of it at regular intervals.  Little white and red lights blinked on it, and a foreign writing that soon translated to Peregrination MARK IV was pained in red on one of the sides.  It was nothing exceptionally amazing, despite how Mercutio flew about it, toying w
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 8 19
Mature content
Off Switch :icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 16 17
Mature content
How It's Going To Be :icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 12 28
Literature
Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  That’s what they liked to say.  For a long time Tien rather thought that the line was written by someone who had never had a lover or dear friend be absent from their lives.  Because, for her, while absence did make her crave her beloved more it also poisoned her days with anger.  Some days that anger morphed and turned into something more deadly; a quiet rage that could be seen but not felt.  The way her expression would strain, her fingers curl into careful fists at her sides, her eyes taking on a dangerous spark…all because of absence.
And yes, she missed Solah.  Tien missed her with all her heart and soul.  Parts of her felt so strained and frayed without her Bonded beside her.  This type of absence wasn’t fair, wasn’t right, and even though she was endlessly fond of Solah this wide raging river between them made her mad more than fond.
Anger like that was never cons
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 4 7
Mature content
Play Games :icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 16 19
Literature
That's It?
Twin’s Night couldn’t last forever, and it seemed as though that the Eternals had just come to Entity when the festivities were ending.  Mercutio and Cian spent a great deal of their time with Kester and Damien.  They seemed like genuinely good people, even if Damien had a hard time accepting that fact.  As the festival was ending the two Eternals were beginning to fee as though they were over-staying their welcome.  Not that they thought that the people of this town would run them out, but the gentle air of the town was waning, and they knew that they would stick out more with the holiday drawing to a close.
“You never taught me your trick,” Damien frowned as he led the two out of town.
“It would be very difficult to teach you,” Mercutio said with a little smile.
“I can learn fast,” Damien argued, crimson eyes glaring up at him.
“I never said you couldn’t learn,” even though Mercutio got the f
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 16 13
Literature
Better Than Here
“So…am I supposed to talk to you?”  Collin asked.
There was no reply.  Really, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting.  Since when did giant doors speak?  What any sort of door spoke?  None, that’s what.  But the doors were shut, large, ominous.  They were framed by large pillars with a language Collin didn’t know, and then he noticed on the rock wall next to it there were newer looking inscriptions that matched those used by the Tribes.  Maybe the Tribes thought these doors were something holy?  Were the inscriptions warnings?  A story?  The half-feral didn’t know, he couldn’t read them.
But he did know these doors led to another world.  Keero had told him about them.  It had been…a strange conversation.  His old friend explained the doors could open, and walking through them led to a place that wasn’t Entity.  At first Collin thought it was a l
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 2 22
Literature
Feel This Out
Their hands fit together perfectly as they slid out of the crowd.  Cian couldn’t stop smiling, his face feeling odd from how his lips were permanently stuck twisted upwards.  Mercutio leaned on his arm, the other eternal’s head brushing against Cian’s shoulder.  It was like a reflex, and Cian stopped to kiss Mercutio’s temple.  Mercutio giggled slightly and pressed more securely against him.
“See?  I told you.”
Cian looked up to find the two of them standing within a few feet of a table.  Sitting on top of it was Damien who was talking to a man sitting on the bench.  Cian almost winced as he looked over the man.  He was an older human, with short black hair that was beginning to silver.  The left side of his face was completely scarred, the slashes running down his face and neck, and his eye was so badly damaged it couldn’t open properly.  Yet, for all of the old and well-healed injuries, the ma
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 16 35
Literature
Because You're Cute
He was sweet, if a little awkward.  Perhaps it was because he felt intimidated.  Not intimidated in a way that made him fearful, but intimidated in a way that made him act more nervous.  I couldn’t pretend to know what truly made him act a bit more meekly.  Maybe it was his past, maybe it was me, but it was something.
I found it endearing.
Vitus had a calm and quiet energy that I enjoyed.  His laugh was soft, always beginning hesitantly before finding it’s footing.  When he truly laughed I had to smile.  It was an infectious sort of sound.  He claimed mine was more infectious than his.  At some point we agreed to disagree.
I’m not sure what to call our courtship.  It wasn’t a regular one but it was hardly irregular.  We dated, or perhaps it was all one long date that didn’t seem to end.  We met, we locked hands, and we went to see the stars.  He was sweet and polite, telling me little
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 5 12
Literature
Throwing Sparks
“How do you do this?”
Alistair blinked and looked up from his book to find Jess holding his bow.  He chuckled as he noted she was holding the bow with her left hand when he knew she was right handed.
“Not like that,” he explained, getting up and padding across the broken, cracked, dirt covered stones.
They were still in the abandoned house.  Keero wasn’t keen on their company moving at the moment.  Too many eyes in the forest, too many open spots between here and Moszou, and this crumbling mansion was the safest place they could find.  Crossing over to Jess Alistair took the bow from her and turned her around, placing the light but strong heartwood into her right hand.
“The hand matters?”
“The eye matters.”
“Both my eyes are fine,” she narrowed those eyes at Alistair.
“You’re right handed, which means you tend to look more with your right eye,” Alistair lectured, feeling like his fat
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 5 8
Literature
Rather Brave
“Hello,” said a very calm, very sweet voice.
Damien blinked and looked up.  Standing beside him was one of those…not-shigen people.  This one had cerulean hair that was just touching his shoulders and silver grey eyes.  There was a gentle, sweet smile on his thin lips, showing off shallow dimples on his face.
“Hello…” Damien replied as cordially as possible.
“May I sit with you?”
The albino hesitated slightly.  He had originally come out here to be away from people.  The castle that Zephyr now lived in was rather nice, but the fact that it was completely within the mountain brought up…all the wrong memories.  Damien needed time away from it and left the castle to find this spot on the banks river.  No one seemed to come close to the water.  Usually that would ward most people away, but seeing as Damien was already dead he decided whatever was keeping people away from the water wouldn’
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 8 25
Literature
Giving Gifts
“Here.”
Luke turned around to see Mikey holding out a badly wrapped, somewhat cylindrical package.  He raised an eyebrow but carefully took the offering.
“What is it?”  Luke asked with a sweet smile.
“It’s a present thing,” Mikey said quickly, folding his arms and not making eye contact.  “I had some money from the smithing, and I didn’t need food and stuff so—” Fuck this is not how you compliment.  “I got it for you.  It’s a present.  Not a thing, a present.”
One of those gorgeous little smiles that Luke was so good at moved across his pale lips.  He took the present and started unwrapping it.  Mikey felt odd and rocked back on his heels, his eyes darting between the dirt, the hands flying at the wrapping, Luke’s face…
Luke pulled out the thin piece of curled metal.  It was silver, with a little gem hanging off the bottom.  It also c
:iconGrimReapette:GrimReapette
:icongrimreapette:GrimReapette 8 14

Favourites

Forget About the Baby by DrMistyTang Forget About the Baby :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 347 50 Shepard's Journal by DrMistyTang Shepard's Journal :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 190 30 Gentle by DrMistyTang Gentle :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 102 17 Three by DrMistyTang Three :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 66 23 Jewels by DrMistyTang Jewels :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 135 21 Barefoot Chiropractic by DrMistyTang Barefoot Chiropractic :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 22 19 Circle by DrMistyTang Circle :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 133 32 Wannabe Apothecary by DrMistyTang Wannabe Apothecary :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 100 19 GE - V2 - CH1 - PG11 by DrMistyTang GE - V2 - CH1 - PG11 :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 61 21 Fiana and Xenos Sketches by DrMistyTang Fiana and Xenos Sketches :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 103 15 Yondu by DrMistyTang Yondu :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 143 21 Terean by DrMistyTang Terean :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 69 13 Chief Tui by DrMistyTang Chief Tui :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 362 41 Inktober 30 - 2017 by DrMistyTang Inktober 30 - 2017 :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 80 20 Inktober 29 - 2017 by DrMistyTang Inktober 29 - 2017 :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 70 21 Inktober 25 - 2017 by DrMistyTang Inktober 25 - 2017 :icondrmistytang:DrMistyTang 245 39

Friends

Groups

Activity


The funny thing about depression is how it is such a slow creep.  Everything on TV, in movies, and even on the internet makes it seem like it's like lightning.  It just crashes into you and everyone knows and sees it, even you're aware of it on some sort of scale.  But the truth is depression is nothing like that.  It's not lightning.  It's the eventual wear and tear on the wire in the fuse box.  Sometimes lightning will cause it to burn out and bust, but usually it's just time.  Time makes it fall apart, and you find yourself staring in the mirror, or looking at what you used to love...and there's just nothing there.  Some friends point out that you "act funny" and your mom on the phone constantly says "you're not the Raye I used to know." And of course they're right, they're not saying this to hurt your feelings or anything.

But that doesn't change the fact that the wire is still burnt out.  And you have no idea how to fix it.  And you love your job and your friends and even the things you used to love, but there's this wall.  Every time you call a therapist and try to find one to help out it seems that they're all booked up, or they don't call back, or your insurance actually doesn't cover that therapist or it won't completely cover the cost of the sessions...  So you sit there, holding the burnt out wire.  Of course you know it needs to be fixed.  Yes you've tried a lot of different ways to do it yourself.  Hell, you've tried things online that you know won't work but maybe the placebo effect will kick in this time.

It doesn't.  The placebo effect only works when you're heads in the game too, you see.  You fucking knew that too, stupid psychology major.

So you sit at a crossroads and try to make plans, and you want them to work, but enacting them is hard.  There's a lot of ways to fix a problem, but not all of them are right for you, which makes this whole damn thing more frustrating.  You just want to have that "fixed" moment you see in movies, on TV, or read in books.  The truth of the matter is this:  There is no moment where you are fixed.  

And you know this.

Which makes it worse.

In the end, his ramble is meant to answer a lot of questions and give me a way to conceptualize what my neurochemistry has done to me.  I am trying my best y'all.  I just want to do better.

I'm trying to be better.

deviantID

GrimReapette's Profile Picture
GrimReapette
Raye
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
The funny thing about depression is how it is such a slow creep.  Everything on TV, in movies, and even on the internet makes it seem like it's like lightning.  It just crashes into you and everyone knows and sees it, even you're aware of it on some sort of scale.  But the truth is depression is nothing like that.  It's not lightning.  It's the eventual wear and tear on the wire in the fuse box.  Sometimes lightning will cause it to burn out and bust, but usually it's just time.  Time makes it fall apart, and you find yourself staring in the mirror, or looking at what you used to love...and there's just nothing there.  Some friends point out that you "act funny" and your mom on the phone constantly says "you're not the Raye I used to know." And of course they're right, they're not saying this to hurt your feelings or anything.

But that doesn't change the fact that the wire is still burnt out.  And you have no idea how to fix it.  And you love your job and your friends and even the things you used to love, but there's this wall.  Every time you call a therapist and try to find one to help out it seems that they're all booked up, or they don't call back, or your insurance actually doesn't cover that therapist or it won't completely cover the cost of the sessions...  So you sit there, holding the burnt out wire.  Of course you know it needs to be fixed.  Yes you've tried a lot of different ways to do it yourself.  Hell, you've tried things online that you know won't work but maybe the placebo effect will kick in this time.

It doesn't.  The placebo effect only works when you're heads in the game too, you see.  You fucking knew that too, stupid psychology major.

So you sit at a crossroads and try to make plans, and you want them to work, but enacting them is hard.  There's a lot of ways to fix a problem, but not all of them are right for you, which makes this whole damn thing more frustrating.  You just want to have that "fixed" moment you see in movies, on TV, or read in books.  The truth of the matter is this:  There is no moment where you are fixed.  

And you know this.

Which makes it worse.

In the end, his ramble is meant to answer a lot of questions and give me a way to conceptualize what my neurochemistry has done to me.  I am trying my best y'all.  I just want to do better.

I'm trying to be better.

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconwhatthenoope:
whatthenoope Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Greetings random deviant, if you enjoy monsters and dinos then watch me, you won't regret it! :-)
Reply
:iconj3v1l:
J3V1L Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday 2015, Grimmy!
Reply
:icontheredeyedmuse:
TheRedEyedMuse Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy belated Birthday! :iconwoootplz:
Reply
:icongrimreapette:
GrimReapette Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thankies!
Reply
:iconteddyberry5:
teddyberry5 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday!
Reply
:icongrimreapette:
GrimReapette Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconcelesoran:
CelesOran Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Feliz cumpleaños,
That's how they say it in Spain,
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag,
In German it means the same,
Gratulerer med dagen,
Norwegian say it too,
Buy any way you say it...
It means Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday!!!


Any plans of writing some more of Cian and Mercutio!!! :iconhandsomeonionplz:
Reply
:icongrimreapette:
GrimReapette Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
AWWW Thank you!  In Hebrew we say "Yom chuledetz samaech!"

ONE DAY.  WHEN I STOP BEING A WASTE OF SPACE.
Reply
:iconcelesoran:
CelesOran Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
well then Yom chuledetz samaech! (I don't even have a clues as to how to pronounce it LOL!!)

Waste of space? Girl how can you be a waste of space?! You're anything but that!! (I meant that last part as a complement... IDK it's too early for me)
Reply
:icongrimreapette:
GrimReapette Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Lol!  Thanks for trying.

Uuuugh.  I have done nothing on this website in foreverrrrrrr.
Reply
(1 Reply)
Add a Comment: